Van Is. Mission

A cold one anybody?

So yes I have been doing a very good job of hiding lately, whether on a boat working in the Caspian Sea or playing in the best snow that Colorado winter has to offer. And I even managed to sneak in a couple of trips to the UK for courses and a flying visit to Norway. Some good times but nothing gets me motivated to let you’ll know what I have been up to like squeezing myself into a plastic tube and chucking myself into the depths of the whitest water I can find. And that is exactly what is have just been doing... and not just anywhere but on Vancouver Island, Canada. Anyhow more about that in a minute, for now I must backtrack a week to where the story actually begins.

What ya doing parked on the side of the freeway Shaun?!?

Location: Portland, USA. My good buddies Shaun and Jacs arrive to start off their North America adventure while I was checking out the white water in Hood River and re teaching myself to kayak… well as you know it has been a wee few months. I missed out on there arrival and subsequent ‘partying’ but the next day I found a ride to Portland and caught up with everybody which also included Emma and Chris. Shaun was given a fine introduction to freeway driving on the wrong side of the road when the truck Chris leant him ran out of gas about five minutes after it was acquired, you sure know when to leave a sinking ship eh Chris.

The rescue... maybe it would just have been easier to put a bit more fuel in there to start with eh Chris.

Fortunately backup was not far off and so were we and off to see Dusty before road tripping our way to Corvallis where Rich was waiting. Never before in a single day have I ever met up with so many people that I have not seen in for such long periods of time!! Good times all round but all good things have to come to an end and I left the lot of them planning a rafting trip as I heading off on my own adventure…. Van Is. here I come!!

The guys planning their trip... as you can see there was some concern over flows (it's always over flows)

Unfortunately my journey was to start without transport and I tried my hand, literately and rather unsuccessfully I might add, at hitchhiking for the first time in the states. Three hours of standing in the rain and the onset of darkness had me reconsidering when a super nice guy picked me up and gave me a lift all the way to my friend’s door - what a garry good… ‘guy’.

Heading out to 'The Island'

A couple of days later and with Canada in our sights six of us departed Hood River, bound for ‘The Island’ as it is called by the locals. There we were joined by four more and so our large crew of ten keen kayakers were all set to rock and/or roll. The only problem however - the weather wasn’t… the rain that we ordered turned up as snow (and in abundance). Cold we could deal with, the lack of water in the rivers, not so much. Still life was not so bad with a close little gem, Gordon’s Creek, flowing at an ok level with three sweet as sections for our entrainment. Each was paddled twice (except the first bit which was only done once).

Better clean the snow of your kayaks guys... there's boating to be done!

The putin to the middle Gordon

Todd running the first drop on the middle Gordon

Not to be out done - Jay getting amongst it.

Yep... it was cold!!

Christie collecting a little snow for the journey.

Spot the kayakers... in case you are wondering there are three

Rob lining up the deceptive hole at the bottom

Rob looking good on the exit drop from the middle Gordon.

Well I would like to say the low water levels were our only problem but that was not to be. Between the four vehicles we had with us we managed to get three flat tires and destroy a clutch. Luckily we forget that we were scumbag kayakers for a couple of days and hired a lodge complete with hot tub. Nothing makes your problems disappear like slipping into steaming spar pool. Due to low flows and lack of functioning cars we didn’t quite last as long as planned and certainly didn’t get to see much of what the island has to offer but I’ll be back, camera in hand ready to explore more rivers. We just need to get the order for rain instead of snow correct (and bring stronger cars).

Yes... work it baby, looking good Jay ;-)

Who Says New Years Should Be Remembered?!?

Right first things first… yes I have been slack and not posted anything form my latest adventures in Baku (Which is in Azerbaijan if that make’s where in the world I am any clearer for you… probably not though). In my own defence I have been working 12 hour days and going out drinking 12 hour nights (well close to anyway) which doesn’t leave much time for other stuff. I if I really wanted to clutch at straws I could blame it on the difficulty in getting internet access… but that would be clutching so I’ll just stick to the tried and true excuse of “too lazy, couldn’t be bother”.

Before I get too far ahead of myself here is a one sentence description of Baku to put things in context. ‘The people are friendly, the streets are safe to walk around at night, the beer and food are cheap, and if you order vodka you are likely to receive enough to make you think they mistook your order for water!!’ Right that’s the formalities dispensed with, onto the story of New Years in Baku.

How my New Years unfolded hinged on one simple point of contention… the possibility that town might close early because of New Years!! Never happen, I hear you say but in some places that is just how it is done and nobody thinks any different of it. A few of us were out on the 30^th and found a new bar which we figured would be the perfect place to start our New Years eve at… I’m not sure why but someone asked what time they closed at on New Years and was told 10:00 pm. That seams rather unusual in its self but when you consider that this was at 11:45 pm on a Sunday night it really got us thinking… maybe Baku is one of these odd places where everybody goes home to celebrate New Years.

With all big problems come big solutions – “so if we can’t drink after ten then maybe we should just drink a lot more before ten”. This was by far my favourite quote of the night and exactly what we did. There was only one teeny tiny flaw in our plan… it was bollocks!!! Town didn’t close; the pub we started at stayed open until past 11:00 (I think on account of how much money we were spending) and the entire tribe of us ended up in quite a condition to phrase it nicely.

Because we are in this part of the world, vodka (straight of course) was the drink of choice and it was flowing like water – when in Rome. I realised that my night was headed down hill when I bough a round of vodka’s for some of the guys playing pool. While I was at the bar I also got vodka’s for some friends sitting there (actually before I managed to buy anything, a vodka was placed in my hand). Anyhow I left the guys at the bar to deliver the drinks and returned a few moments later to find they were still sitting at the bar, vodka’s in front of them. “What...aren’t you guys drinking?” “We are waiting for you” they replied. “But I just had one in the other room!!” “We didn’t see… get another one”… “Ok then, if I must”.

So before this story gets too long, here’s the quick summary. We left the bar at about 11:30, walked across the street into another place which wanted 50 manat each person as a cover charge… yeah right, that’s more than I spent all night so predictably we left and ‘apparent’ headed to the Corner Bar. I then looked at my watch and it was 5:00 in the morning, I was in a different bar and couldn’t find any of the 15 or so other guys I started the night with… time to head off I think and I finished my night with a crazy taxi ride home, probably the best since being here - and that’s my New Years… ta-daah

The next day when I woke up and dragged my sorry arse to work (at 11:00 instead of 8:00) I started trying to piece together the puzzle that was my New Years. Turns out everyone was trying to do the same… I was not the only one suffering for a little short term memory loss. The best I could get was that at some point I fell off a bar stool into a crowd of people and something about a beer squirting competition?!? I still don’t know what that is… hmmm

So was my New Years memorable… definitely. Was it remembered… not so much! I hope you all have your own great stories to tell (which include a few more details than mine) Over and out - Jono

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Craig clearing snow from his car in Glendwood Springs

Well my recent misadventure with missed flights (and what not) had one big upside, I arrived at Denver International Airport a few hours before my friend Helmo got in from Vegas. Thus I negated having to find accommodation in Denver for the night and instead only had to choose which baggage terminal to wait at. More of challenge than you might think when you don’t know the flight number, and as ‘Murphy’ would have it I chose the wrong one. Still it all worked out in the end and once again the two of us were reunited and ready to cause trouble.

I like snow!!

After a few days to sort my life out I was armed with a season pass to Copper Mountain and some new friends to share the adventure with, one of whom I ‘maybe possible could have at some stage possible maybe’ met in New Zealand a few years ago but neither of us are really sure. Only thing left to do is tackle to people slalom on the beginner/intermediate slops while dodging speed patrol. Necessary because early season conditions meant a lot of the mountain is still closed. Although to be fair, what is open would have still made most of the ski fields jealous in New Zealand after last winter. Anyhow I’m getting sidetracked and this story is supposed to be about the snow… and snow there is plenty (now).

I couldn't have said it better myself

For the last three days it has been snowing, day and night. Seeing that we are such extreme (ski field) athletes we were not put off and persisted with the perilous conditions. Visibility was down to only ‘hundreds’ of meters with the wind was ‘raging’ at up to 15 knots and the temperature was down to a ‘brutal’ negative five degrees (Celsius not Fahrenheit… silly Americans). Ok so it wasn’t actually that bad but the roads were another story… Helmo had his work cut out for him on Saturday night during the three hour drive home on an icy freeway with close to zero visibility on account of the snow. It was almost more exciting than skiing… but Helmo did well and all were safe and well upon arrival and ready to fix that with alcohol. Good work buddy.

See no shortage of snow here :)

The snow… what can I say, it was epic for such early skiing with heaps of new runs opened. And plenty to be poached if you’re that way inclined, although you might end up packing snow for your troubles… heehee. The beers at night were draining, almost literally and the crew of people were stellar. Craig even perfected his superman while learning to telemark (but I think it will look better when he incorporates it with a jump). All in all a great start to the season… booyah. Only problem is that I have to go back to work shortly. Stink au but I’ll be back and I even have a place to stay close to Copper… nice. Over and out!

Here's a picture just for Ben (and anyone else interested in Caterpillar diggers)

If You Aint There The Plane Leaves Without You!!

Well it is Scotland

For those out there who just like the pictures and not the words this article can be summed up with ‘got wasted, missed flight’. Everyone else please read on... Hanging out in for the week in Edinburgh has been not too bad. I never though I would enjoy being in the UK very much but I must confess that it was at least tolerable. And as the week progressed the shenanigans increased. More than one hangover was fought off with coffee as I suffered through the mornings having been out drinking the night before. At least I made it to where I should be… however things went a little more astray on the final night.

There is no shortage of cool old buildings to look at/photograph

It all starts when I caught up with old friends in Edinburgh on what was supposed to be my last night there… you see where I’m going with this right. Before I left New Zealand I knew one person who lived in Edinburgh, however it turns out actually knew half a dozen (and now a few more). The whole crew of Scottish boating scumbags I met in New Zealand a few years ago have made the way back to where they come from and now can be found lurking in the seed depths of underground pubs. I forget the names of the places they took me too but they were all pretty classic.

Just like the people, the cool buildings are everywhere!!

As I still haven’t adjusted to the new time zone I made sure to have power naps throughout the night… one at each pub. Lucky I managed to keep my eyebrows and with each quick recharge I was ready for another assault. The night ended with gin and tonics at the place Paul and Colin work at. Oh yeah this was after they had closed the bar and kicked everyone else out. All we had to do was buy the manager a few drinks and bingo bango, our night of drunken debauchery continued.

Ah my own lane... excellent

In the morning I woke up just after eleven to be surprised at how light it was… sun shine… it should be sunny at six in the morning (the time my cell phone was set to wake me up at, and shortly before I was to head to the airport). My next reaction was to ask Dawson, who I was sharing a bed with (that’s another story) “what’s the time”…”ah it’s five past eleven”… “but it can’t be, my plane leaves at nine!!!”…. to which he replied “I wouldn’t lie to you man” and started laughing at me.

Along with all the buildings are a lot of statues, here's one of the many

It tuned out my cell phone battery died and therefore didn’t wake me up… error. In actually fact though I probably should have been heading to the airport before I even got home form town!! Oh well, at least it was a good night and because work buys flexible tickets it didn’t cost anything to change my fight.

Sunset over Edinburgh... only the lucky ones get to see it on account of the normally appalling weather

As a side note, it is the first flight I have ever missed and I think I really nailed it… I give myself five points for classiness and a bonus point because I didn’t even realise until two hours after the plane had gone. Booyah

Tis A Bonny Wee Toon

There's people everywhere... EVERYWHERE!!

Well as I said there’s not much going on on a boat and the flat Caspian Sea with its permanently hazy sky wasn’t even interesting enough to make me unclip the buckles on my peli case, let alone get the camera out and start snapping away.

And while you might imagine that I’m in New Zealand at present having all sorts of adventures (as was hinted in my last post and because your reading this one I’ll assume that you read that one too so are indeed up with the current state of affairs… which makes this whole statement pointless really… interesting). Where was I, ah yes my present whereabouts. While on route home I checked my email – mistake!! Turns out I had to go to Edinburgh for a training course bang smack in the middle of my six week in New Zealand. And so here I am, sitting in a hotel room in down town Edinburgh at 2:37 am rather unable to sleep. Something about ‘jet lag’ or ‘time zones’ or something, I don’t know, but not being one to miss an opportunity I have change my return ticket home to Denver, Colorado. Shortly I’ll be shredding snow that is presently falling in the Rockies and there will be yarns to be told… peau peau

‘At present we are experiencing technical difficulties’ so I can show any of the few photos of Edinburgh that I shot before this ‘jet lag’ thing hit me like a freight train. On first impressions… aye tis a bonny wee toon, but with just one small teeny tiny flaw – MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. The buggers are everywhere, EVERYWHERE.

Off to Work in the Potassium Mines

Looking over the city from the hotel. As you can see this is the flat part of Kazakhstan and there ain't nothing here but desert!!

Well ok I’m not actually going to be working in Kazakhstan’s, ‘Borat’ famous potassium mines but the next best thing… looking for oil in the Caspian Sea! “It’s veddy nice” but I’m getting ahead of myself so I’ll start at the beginning.

It all started with Eden and me heading for Norway with the basic plan to kayak/work/live happily ever after but I’m sure you’ve all got that bit by now. The hitch however was making all that come together and to throw in some distraction we had been hearing rumours of amazing amounts of holidays and good pay in the oil industry working offshore. I don’t know about you guys but once someone told me that they work two weeks on four… yes that’s right four weeks off there was no way that I could go back to working normal hours.

And so I started applying for jobs with Norwegian companies in the oil industry… turns out that it is not as easy to find a good job in the oil industry as I had hoped. ‘Apparent’ I’m not the only person who thinks two weeks on, four weeks off is a good idea. Anyhow not to be easily put off I stuck at it and wound up working for a seismic survey company who map out oil wells. I’m now a trainee navigator and your not allow to ask me what I do yet because I don’t even know yet but what I do know is that I will be working five weeks on five weeks off… not quite the dream but a jolly good start.

And as for being in Kazakhstan, My new employer has sent me here to learn the art of seismic navigation in the Caspian Sea. Now I bet you’re all wondering what Kazakhstan is really like and to tell the truth I don’t really know yet because I’ve only been here long enough to be driven from the airport to the hotel – an experience on its own. Traffic lights are more of a guideline as apposed to a rule and the same goes for lanes… whether someone is coming the other way or not (ie you don’t need clear road to pass). Oh and other cars can be treated as a salmon course, Mike would love it.

Here is one of the many people who were out sweeping the streets. Apparently there Prime Minster (or someone similar) was coming to visit so everything was being tided up and there were police everywhere which was a little intimidating. When I first got here someone from the company I work for took my passport and gave me a photocopy because the police are far less likely to bother you if they have to talk to someone who knows the system to get your passport. Even having a cell phone helps because you can call someone to help you out... the message I got was simple though - avoid the police, so I was a little nervous taking this photo right in front of them.

No real hiccups so far though. The plane did sit at the gate for two and half hours before we left Amsterdam but it did make it all the way with out crashing so good on ya Air Astana… “Number one airline in all of Kazakhstan”

Despite the bleak landscape there is no shortage of colour here... some of the many flags and ribbons flying in the breeze.

Anyhow I’m going to be working on a boat for the next five weeks so there will be not much action here until I’m back in New Zealand for a month of adventure in which I’ll introduce you to the co-creator of MCP – ‘That Guy’. Oh and if I die avenge my death!!!

Ah the Serenity…

So I have been hanging out in a small place called Vassended in Jølster and enjoying the last of the Norwegian summer which has two weather states and one temperature. The states of weather are ‘raining’ and ‘about to rain’ and as you have probably already guessed the only temperature that the weather comes in is ‘cold’. For example yesterday I went boating and we put on the river in sun shine… ‘cold’ sun shine but sunshine none the less and then twenty minutes latter is was hailing… ah and yes that was the ‘cold’ verity of hail too.

The weather is not without its charms though and it certainly does make for some wonderful scenery. These are some photos I shot today on my drive back to Oslo. They are taken looking down Fjærlandfjorden which is part of Norway’s biggest fjord, Sognefjorden.

When I came out of the tunnel (which was a mere 4 km) and got my first look down the fjord I couldn’t stop the car fast enough because while the photos are really cool, the real thing was far better. Anyhow to rap things up, I think black and white real suits these shots on account of the amazing contrast between the mountains, sky and water. Enjoy